Junior Mad Scientist – Lab Notes

National Gelato Month?

May 19th, 2010 by Weber


image courtesy http://www.biteclubeats.com/gelato.jpg

Why didn’t anybody tell me it’s National Artisan Gelato Month?

Guess I’d have to be on one of the privacy-abusing social networking sites to get that kind of up-to-date info. Well, it’s a small price to pay for keeping my business mine and not fodder for trolls, sell-outs, busybodies, and data miners pimping my status to the advertising industry.

I may be behind the curve on this one, but I’ve still got twelve solid days left to enjoy the sweet, yummy goodness of artisan gelato. I like gelato. Not better than ice cream. Equally, I’d have to say.

If you had a scoop of gelato in one hand and a scoop if ice cream in another and asked me which one I wanted, I’d tell you, “Neither — because they’re all melty and gross and running down your arm. It’s a dessert, not a fetish. So get me a fresh one in a cone; I don’t care what.”

I bet jalapeno gelato is good. I’d like some of that.

Anyway, Here’s a list of artisan gelato joints in Chicago area — including Palazzolo’s and Caffe Gelato (make sure your speakers are off when you hit this site) — and a link to recent Chicago Tribune articles on artisan gelato and places to get it.

All of this artisan gelato action begs the question: how, exactly, did May become National Artisan Gelato Month? Seems like any chucklehead with half an agenda can get his own National Something Month. Take a look at the ones for May:

Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month
Mental Health Month
Allergy/Asthma Awareness Month
National Good Car Keeping Month
National Strawberry Month
National Chocolate Custard Month
Foot Health Month
National Physical Fitness and Sports Month
National High Blood Pressure Month
National Hamburger Month
Arthritis Month
Better Sleep Month
Correct Posture Month
National Salad Month
Older Americans Month
National Barbecue Month
National Bike Month
National Mine Month
National Egg Month
National Artisan Gelato Month
National Asparagus Month
National Macaroon Day
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
National Share A Story month

National Chocolate Custard Month? Seriously? Why not a National High Fructose Corn Syrup Month? And how about whipping National Egg Month into a nice Bearnaise to drizzle over National Asparagus Month? Where’s National Steak & Crab Legs Month?

Not that I have the time for it, but now I’m pissed-off enough to start investigating how we got all these ridiculous National Months — I’m looking right at you, “Hug a Texas Chef Month.”

More on this as I find it. Meanwhile, here, for your viewing pleasure and possible outrage, is an expanded list of National Months by month. If you’re lucky, maybe your birthday falls during a really good one. My birthday’s in January, host to a bunch of sucky National Months such as:

Prune Breakfast Month
Fat Free Living Month
Dried Plum Breakfast Month (I’m flummoxed as to how this differs from Prune Breakfast Month. Any help here?)
National Fiber Focus Month
National Mail Order Gardening Month
National Eye Health Care

January is also National Egg Month. How did eggs get two National Months? Either the egg lobby is more powerful than we thought, or our elected public servants aren’t paying attention to the bills they vote on.

Nah. Couldn’t be that.


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